Brain Donors

Never in my life had I ever thought to become a surgeon. Let alone a brain surgeon. Party Dano of the late 90's/early 2000's wouldn't never even once had this thought due to barely passing his Electrical/CIT/General studies courses, and especially after getting on the Deans list in University...albeit not the good one. He was more focused on having a good time, drinking, partying with friends and trying to woo women that more schooling wasn't even on his radar. Not even a little bit. Because you see Party Dano didn't care about future Dano and why should he? That was for future Dano to worry about. Back then it didn't take much for party Dano to come out - the school bell, the work bell, taco bell quickly brought out party Dano as fast as taking the first sip of booze so it was easy to slip into party Dano at any point back then, and who could blame him? Me. Future Dano that's who lol. That's right. The same future Dano that ended up getting three tickets after getting some priorities in order. The same future Dano that thinks maybe I should have just went for it - Got my Phd in something. Knowing now that I would have found out some way to make it work and would be writing this blog on my mega yaht instead of on my coffee break in this factory that I work at..like a chump. Thanks Party Dano. Weird Part is...I love that guy and I wouldn't trade those memories he made for the world. But part of me wonders what would have happened if Party Dano and future Dano coexisted for a future goal? What would have have happened if I graduated as a Doctor or even...a Surgeon? I know I wouldn't be top of the class (Lets be realistic) I'd be lucky not to be the bottom of the graduating pile lol Not everybody can be number one, But it makes me wonder, how would my day to day go at work if they had? How far would I have gotten?

Brain Surgeon: What is this? No no no no no no no! Dano get over here, where the hell...where is he? Dano!

Dano: Eh...What's up Doc? Lol

BS: I've told you before please refer to me by my professional name

D: Ok. What's up Dr. Dick?

DrD: That's not correct.

D: No, that's correct. Pretty sure your name is Richard, I saw it written on your golf shirt when you came in.   

DrD: Ugh. You may refer to me by professional name of Dr. Heins.

D: You got it Ketchup. 

Drd: That's Heins not.. you know what we wasted enough time on this come here and take a look at her X-ray.

D: What are we looking at here Doctor?

DrD: The patients X-ray, shows 8 vessels in need of repairing. 

D: Ok.

DrD: You mentioned she needed three. Three repaired. Not eight.

D: I took a stab in the dark. Sorry Dick. 

DrD: It's Rich-what do you mean took a stab in the dark?

D: I...I can't read. 

DrD: at all? that's obvious.

D: No Dick, I can, just not X-rays, you see, I have no clue what to look for, They said we would learn that out in the field and yet here we are...

DrD: I shall now reiterate my previous claim...to you inability...based upon the fact...you could of just read the lab notes at the bottom of the FUCKING XRAY!

D: Jeeze Doc, earmuffs *places hands of the patients ears* we have a lady present 

DrD: she is under local ANESTHESIA!

D: Not her doc, the other one *nudges head in opposite direction*

DrD: Ah, finally Nurse Butters, please get the instruments ready, I'm about to start the incision  

Nurse Butters: Yes Dr. Heins.

Dano: I don't know about you two, but seeing you two crazy condiments together is making me hungry 

DrD: I will require absolute silence as I work, Nurse Butters on left, Dano you can observe on the right.

Dano: Aye Aye captain 57!

NB: *smirks

DrD:*shoots Dano a dagger of stare*

DrD: Oh and Dano, please put on the radio to 92.3 FM as I love to listen to a symphony as I work

Dano: *walks over to the radio, flips the switch and turns the dial 11 and starts mouthing the words while doing the air guitar* 

D:EXIT LIGHT! ENTER NIGHT! Take my hand, We're off to never-never land

DrD: What in God's good Name is this unbearable sound?!

Dano: *screaming* IT'S METALLICA

DrD: WHHHHAT?! TURN IF OFF!!! 

Dano: *Turns the volume knob down* Oh sorry Doc, I said Metallica, Its Enter Sandman everyone knows that ain't that right nurse Butters?

NB: Yes, he's right

DrD: Yes of coarse I know he's right 

Dano: Thank you

DrD: I Mean why was it playing on my symphony station and at max volume

Dano: Because I like 92.1 Rock better. And it was one more than ten.

DrD: What?

Dano: 11. Its one more louder isn't it? 

DrD: I'm done talking to you. Just set it to the station I have requested at low volume

Dano: But it-s

DrD: No Buts! 

Dano: I'm sure nurse Butters would disagree with you

NB: *smirks*

DrD: Don't answer that - Don't answer him. I want complete silence so I can concen-

Dano: But you said you wanted the radio station on....

DrD: Silence! You know what, no music, leave it off, I shall make the incisons...in complete...and utter silence.

D: You got it Doc *wink*

DrD: *grumbles*

D: Sorry doc didn't hear what you sai-

DrD: I said SILENCE!

D:*Smiles at nurse Butters*

DrD: *Starts making the incisions and opens up the scalp to reveal the brain, slowly he hears the sound of loud chewing coming from his right side and slowly turns his head and in general disbelief mentions DrD:Is that...a sandwich?!!!

D: yeah, tuna fish sandwich, you want some?

DrD: No.

D: Ok, your loss Doc.

DrD: No I mean why is it..here.

D: Oh, I was hungry.

DrD: No I mean why is it here...In the operating room.

D: Are you sure your not the one that needs surgery doc? I just said I was I hungry  *rolls eyes*

DrD: You can't have food in the operating room.

D: Why not? Don't worry I'm almost done anyways...

Drd: I have her cerebellum exposed and LOOK! You just dropped some crumbs on it!

D:  Don't worry I'll just blow it off...

DrD: Nooooo! 

D: PFFFFFFF!!!

DrD: WHAT THE FUCK DANO! Now there's crumbs...EVERYWHERE!!! 

D:Ya I probably shouldn't have blown with food in my mouth still

DrD: It's a....It's a...a  FUCKING Disaster! 

D: Don't worry I got it Doc *Flicks the bread crumb hits the brain* patients arm reaches up and punches Dr. Hein in the face*

D:Oh my god did you see that Butters?! I couldn't have planned it if I tried!!! one in a million shot!

DrD: GOD DAMN YOU DANO get ouuuut....get....OUTTTTT!!!! *Holding his chin*

D: Ya...your probably right doc cause your definitely getting sued over this....not me though - I kinda feel like the whole teacher / student thing we got here didn't really vibe well or work out in the patients best interest sooooo.....

DrD: GETTTT THE FUCKKKK OUTTT!!! 

DrD:*Throws utensil tray at the door as Dano exits the operating room laughing*

On Second thought, Maybe it would have been a waste of my time...lol