Monday, 20 August 2012

Rio or Bust - The 2004 Kia Rio.

    With the Pregnant Roller-Skate out of commission, and no car yet for the old powertrain, I am forced into the world of the rental cars. Such a wonderful idea thrashing about in someone else's vehicle without the fear of breaking something. And if something did break, they provide you with a new car for a second go. All of this is grand if you’re the one choosing the car. But being a 24 year old male with Molson Canadian flowing through my veins, I opted for the 2004 Mustang, having owned the previous fox body. Denied. Well how about the Mitsubishi eclipse? Denied. Or the Subaru Imprezza WRX? Denied. Apparently it seems that the insurance company of the girl who turned my car into a Picasso had a say in what I was renting. The new Chrysler 300? Sure, But all are rented. Blast. What do I get? We have a new 2004 Kia Rio for you. Well that’s just ducky.

    Now born and raised under a roof of Mopar or no car, my parents over the past few years just barely let in a Japanese vehicle under the roof.  Just. I too was just as suspicious of a new Korean car as I was of eating raw fish. So with my guard up, and coat buttoned, I headed down the winter roads Canada is known for. My first reaction was to test the brakes, or the lack of. My grandmother of 75 could apply more pressure on the front end of this turtle to slow it down than it could under its own power. This is fine, because the second you try to step on the throttle to give her more gas, the season has changed to spring. This quality made it equally important because if someone were to walk out in front of you, you would have a better time steering a Dutch barge than you would the Rio.

    To distract you from the cataclysm that has presented itself in your lap, you’ll also notice like in Rio it’s hot - Very hot. At one point you’ll think the very engine has caught fire beneath your feet, thereby preventing you to step on the gas pedal or brakes and in turn starting the chain of events all over. You will also be the only one on the winter roads with the windows rolled down and AC on to prevent yourself from being roasted like a stuffed pig.  Too bad my old Dodge diesel doesn’t have this problem.
 

    Also I wasn't aware that we were at war with the Koreans. It was a silent attack upon our shores and before we knew it, they were here...in numbers. Just like bird flu the numbers seem to spread although I have a hard time understanding why. Surely you can blame it on madness, or a brief moment of insanity. Although it must have affected enough of the population that now it’s a common sight amongst the sea of sedans. After one go in the car I felt like driving it through the very front window of the rental place from which it came,  which I could have done, if it weren't for the fact they have 10 others there waiting for me when I got out of the car. So, to all those that currently own a Kia Rio, or are thinking of buying one, I suggest you go see a doctor for a checkup.


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