I chuckle.
I for one have no intention of giving blood or receiving it
in the near future and thus do not know my own blood type. I once asked my
parents if they knew what my blood type was and instead all I got was lesson in
the Greek alphabet. "You’re a A, B,
no wait a O, E?" No matter, I
figure that one day if I wake up and notice that my pancreas has decided to
part ways from my internal organs, and
join the liver parade, I will call the Doc up, and he'll fix me up, and send me on my merry way.
Simple.
I prefer to a have an older doctor, one that looks like
Gandalf the White not Gandalf the Grey. I want the man that fought the Balrog
to the lowest dungeon of Moria and climbed the endless stairs back out. Someone
who has seen the lowest, darkest, dirtiest, most rotten infested pits of
mankind and has survived. One that has been around it long enough at this point
in his life he could probably just look at you and go "He looks like an A
type, hold on, look at the way he's leaning on that bench, He's a B, Ya, defiantly a B type."
Then I wonder.
Can Vampires tell what blood type you are? And if they do,
do they complement the blood like a sommelier? On the same note do they compare
our blood to different regions of the globe like fine wines? And does age
matter? How would that conversation go?
Draconis - "Here taste this blood its type B negative,
just brought in from California, a boy aged 18 years!"
Paul - "Was he from a city or the valley?"
D - I dunno, city I believe"
P - "Hmmm I prefer the valley, city folk age
quicker"
D- "Age quicker?
He’s the same age regardless of where he lives!"
P - "Ya, but stress."
D - "Stress?"
P - "It makes you age quicker."
D - "No it doesn't."
P - "It does."
D - "No it doesn't. I don't believe that. I
cannot"
P - "It’s true just ask Harry."
P - *yells*"Hey Harry!"
P - "Last week he brought a girl in from New York aged
26 years, tasted like 46"
D - "You’re joking."
P - "No wait just ask him - here he is"
Harry - "Hey guys what’s up?"
P - "I was just telling Draconis here about that girl
you brought in last week"
H - "The one from New York? The O positive that tasted
like twice her age?"
P - "Yeah that’s the one."
D - "Ridiculous."
H - "I do apologize. I thought I picked up a fresh
college student, but after the tasting I decided to look in her wallet and I
discovered she’s been a paralegal for 5 years."
P - "See stress."
D - "Oh Shut up.”
H - "On a "positive" note she was a blood donor"
*laughs*
D - "Ugh. I don't believe it."
H - "No its true, see here is her donor card."
D - "No I meant how a woman aged 26 years can taste
twice her age."
P - "It's the stress of city"
D - "No it’s not. There is no undead way you can taste
the stress. It's Untastable. No taste!"
P - "Tastes gamey."
D- “Impossible!"
H - "No I do agree with Paul here. I usually avoid
picking up strays in the city for the very same reasons I also avoid farmers.
To earthy for me."
D - "Earthy? What a person does with their life does
not affect the taste of their blood."
P - "If you don't believe us just ask Eric the Red over
there."
D - "No don't ask-"
P - *Yells* ERIC!
D - *sigh* "I hate that guy"
H - "What’s wrong with Eric? He’s good people."
D - "He's just vulgar...all the time. I don't think he
can go a single sentence without making our kind look bad."
P - "I like him."
D - "You would."
Eric the Red -"Whazzzzup motha fuckas!"
D - *rolls eyes*
E - "How’s my favorite blood sucking bitches?!
haHa!"
P, D, H - "Hey Eric"
E - "Whatcha fucking stalkers talking about over
here?"
H - "We were trying to explain to Draconis here how
certain people taste differently depending on their occupation"
E - "Bwahaha Fuck Me D, how long have you been a count
for?"
D - "I'd rather not. And again for the record, it’s
impossible to taste any sort of vocation, regardless of stress. Age, ect. ect.
We have like 8 flavors, 8! There's no more to talk about. That's it. That's
all. Done. End of discussion. Fineato. Finished."
E - "Obviously you didn't taste that sad excuse for a
fucking 26 year old that Harry dragged in here last week. That plasma has gone
Souwa!"
P - *Chuckles*
E - "Take fucking chuckles here, he will only hunt the
living on the beach because he thinks everyone else tastes too-"
P - "Gamey"
E - "Right Gamey. And fucking Harry here will only
sample women in fear that the blood of men will make him turn gay."
H - "Well it might."
D - "What? No! There is absolutely no way shape or form
that drinking the blood of men will make you gay. Even if it comes from a gay
man."
E - "Me on the other hand could give two shits whether
it comes from a living man, woman or child, just as long as it’s fresh."
D - "Finally. Now somebody is talking some sense."
E - "Oh except redheads - I can't take’ m."
D - "Can't take’ m? What do you mean you can't take’ m."
E - "I'm allergic to them. That shit coagulates my
blood worse than that time Paul "accidentally" flew into the back of
that mixing truck! Ha-ha"
P - "Not funny."
D - "That's it. I've I had it. I can't take this
anymore. I can't handle this BS. I'm done. I'm out." *turns into a bat and
fly’s away*
P - "Why did you have to go mention the cement truck
incident? Now he's buggered off."
E - "Fucking chillax, could be worse, I could have told
him about that beaver mascot."
H - "Do tell!"
P - "No!"
E - Oh man! My bloodsucking friend here one night drank
about 14 pints of cows blood that turned,
He got so fucking hammered that he tried sucking the stuffing out of the
beaver mascot at the local high school."
P - "That's enough."
E - "Oh man, He couldn't figure it out, he just kept
sucking and sucking! Ha-ha"
P - "Stop it."
E - "Hahaha *tears up* the look on his face, ha-ha
Fucking priceless! Ha-ha"
P - "You’re such a dick."
H - "Hahaha"
*end*
No comments:
Post a Comment
Note: only a member of this blog may post a comment.